Does Christ "worry?"

This has been a long couple of days. Couldn't get to church yesterday, and I had a lot to do after being woken up Saturday night at 1 am. Worked through the evening last night, and finally am sitting down...

Sometime yesterday, a thought occurred to me. I had been worrying over a personal point in my life. Part of my worry was to try to make my point eloquently enough that the person about whom I am worried will see my point and amend behavior that is detrimental.

That took me a couple of hours to write a letter. A letter that I knew I would not send, but could not help but write it anyway. Those two hours were time I could have taken to rest in the Word and reflect, and write a bit that might actually matter.

As I was driving to work, I realized something. I had chosen worry over worship. The fact that I had done that really put the value of worry at the forefront of my mind. How could I have gotten lost in an activity that meant so little, relative to writing something worshipful? I am glad that I did, because the pain of that realization of NOT worshipping made me really focus hard on the concept of "worry."

I have been praying to "die" lately. Not physically, I have too much left to do and give, but to "die" to myself, so that Christ can fill what remains. As I reflected how I had spent the afternoon worrying about a point of communication, I realized how far away from that "death" I am. If Christ fills me, then my faith, like His faith, should become stronger and stronger. Christ did not say, God is going to kick your ass. He said, God will take care of you. As a matter of fact, He says this over and over again.

Faith, then, becomes a belief in the fact that God *will* provide. And not just for me, but for everyone, including the one I had been so worried about "convincing." So, it seems to me that the more that Christ is in me, the less I have to "worry" about, because the stronger my faith is. Once I thought about the answer to the question, "does Christ worry?" I realized that if Christ is growing in my, my faith is growing, and therefore my worry is decreasing. The more Christ is in me, the greater my faith, the less my worry.

I can still have concern, and I can still work for justice, and I can still pray as hard as I can for people, but with faith, I can let go of things and know that God WILL provide. So, when I need to draw boundaries and walk away, I no longer have to worry. God WILL provide. Often, just walking away creates the opportunity that God needs to do better that which I had been trying to do. In other words, my presence becomes counterproductive to a better plan that God has. But gently, He has let me know these things.

So, as I have been praying to "die," I am starting to realize what this means. Losing my identity in Christ has always seemed so foreign and so threatening. I am now starting to realize how *fulfilling* actually is. Does Christ "worry?" No. Should I "worry?" As Christ grows in me (and my faith gets stronger and stronger), the answer is also no.

The NT reading for yesterday dealt with Christ's command over a fig tree. Very matter of factly, he describes the power of faith. And part of the faith promise He gives is "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

As my faith and belief continues to grow, I very much feel myself becoming a testament to this statement.