Swimming upstream

It's good to be back. I have been out of town for a week at a conference, and took a short hiatus from my goal. Needed to recharge the batteries.

Today, the OT reading hit on something I often think about. On his way to see Balak, Balaam is riding his donkey through a narrow place in the road between two vineyards. (Numbers 22:21-34). An angel of the Lord is blocking the donkey's way, and the donkey shies away from crossing the area three separate times. On each of those occasions, Balaam, who cannot see the angel, beats the donkey. Finally, the donkey speaks to him and asks Balaam what he did to cause Balaam to beat him three times. Finally, Balaam's eyes are opened, and he sees the angel, and realizes his error. And not only that, but the angel reveals that if the donkey had not shied away, the angel would have killed Balaam and spared the donkey.

So, lets' put ourselves on the side of the road and watch this drama unfold. Here is a man, struggling with a donkey, and the donkey refuses to budge. We have sympathy for the man, because he is on an important errand, and the recalcitrant donkey is acting up. How often have we been in similar situations, knowing we had to get somewhere, and impatient with the tools we are using to get us to that place. So, as we don't know the entire story (just as Balaam is ignorant), we have sympathy for Balaam.

But then the rest of the story is revealed. Three times the donkey saves Balaam. From Balaam's prior perspective, the donkey is harming his intent. But when all is revealed, and a new perspective is granted, we see that his donkey's behavior is actually helping.

Once, when I was a a boy, I was travelling down a road I had only travelled once before. It was a little old country road, and I was in a hurry. I remembered that there was a 90 degree hairpin turn in it, but I did not remember where. Anyway, I had to get to the end of the road to meet someone, so I was flying down the road about 70 mph in a 1965 Volvo. I was 16 or 17. The road was empty, it was about 7 am on a Saturday morning. Suddenly, out of nowhere, this little old couple turns on the road in front of me, and proceeds to drive about 35 miles per hour. I was frustrated, cursing, and upset that out of nowhere, having seen no other car for about 20 miles, suddenly the only other two people awake in that rural county happen to pull out in front of me. So, while I am immaturely carrying on, mad at the little old people in front of me, here comes that hairpin turn, two minutes after they pull out in front of me. After the hairpin turn, about a mile later, they turn off.

Why did that happen? If they had not been there, I would not be here today. There's no way I would have survived that turn in that car. But they were there for exactly as long as it took to save me from myself. For the rest of my life, I have looked at inconveniences from that perspective. Even if no other incident had God's hands on it again, the fact that this one did makes the rest of my life, and all its occurrences, part of that miracle. Successes and failures are all learning experiences, to be dedicated to a God that has us in His hands, all the time.

So here is Balaam, swimming upstream, fighting a war in which he does not know all the sides, thinking he is doing right, when in fact, God is saving him for His purposes. All our lives are like that at some moment. I believe, if we are blessed, a donkey will speak to us someday and help reveal our place in the Kingdom. It's part of the irrationality and the dominance of faith.

It's hard to read such a story and continue to hang my hat on my own rationality and legalism. I will fall, and some donkey will be there to remind me who I am.